hell is other people

you know what is gross to me?
everytime i go for a walk out and about
i have to take a shower when i get home because my hair and body are all
soaked in AUTO EXHAUST FUMES!
it disgusts me.

the air pollution is disgusting and i live in a very small town.
i can only imagine how nasty it is to walk around in more heavily populated areas.


change of subject:
i am very seriously considering living out the rest of my life in celibacy.
i'm ready to swear off men.
they are not trustworthy, i have found.
perhaps very few people are... male or female.
i just don't have room in my life for the added drama.
sex is also highly overrated. in my experience anyway.



i'm pretty sure all it's ever contributed to my life are problems.
okay, well, mostly.
but this is just me 'thinking out loud' so don't take it as a sworn affadavit, okay?
mainly i just mean that i am going to think LONG and HARD before i get involved in another romantic relationship ever again and it would have to be OUTSTANDINGLY worth it somehow and i just can't envision that happening.
other relationships and situations have a way better rate of return.
like family and i don't know, church people or something.
the 'sangha'
and/or work-related acquaintances, but not too involved there, either.