everyone has his own idea

what are you, Freud?
everything has to be about sex?
all creativity is sexually oriented?
why are you trying to control me?
why can't i have freedom of expression?
what makes you want to quell my desire to create?
why so much negativity?
focus on something positive.
eh.


you've been harrassing me for years and it's never stopped me from doing what i am doing because i stand firmly on my right to have a blog and put pics on it and words on it. i am not going to stop.


the desire to document odd details of my life is strong in me.
the desire to rise above the petty b.s. is also strong.


i just want to have fun. that is the point of this.
is that so wrong?
i can't entertain myself and a few others?


some of you will always want to bring me down.
all in the name of....
the principle that I should not try to bring someone else down?
or i should not have opinions?
or i should not ask questions?
or i should not be who i am?
but i also can't be someone else?
or i shouldn't buy walmart stuff?


or i shouldn't eat what i eat or wear what i wear or buy what i buy or think what i think but also don't do what other people do, either.


but i am not afraid to post unflattering fotos.
HAHA!
deal with it.

when's it enough for you?

i tend to not dry my clothes in the dryer so sometimes they don't get that nice elasticity you get when you heat stuffs up.
so i noticed my tank top looks all saggy and appears as tho maybe i'm all flabby and pudgy and idk, maybe i could stand some strength crap and core stuff and all that rot. i know i do get exercise and most people STILL think i am in my mid-twenties and i really don't think that about myself cuz all i see are my flaws to be honest....


but seriously my back kills a lot.
kills me with pain, that is.
and even riding my bike kills my back.
i hate having to bend over, y'know?
on mountain bikes you don't get to sit up straight.
that's why i've always liked old-fashioned grandma bikes and stuff... cruisers.


but i do look better in general than most of the women my age with whom i come into contact. not ALL, and of course it really just depends on who's looking. everyone has their opinions. his/her opinion, to be exact.


what a stupid picture and my pants are too big or fit funny?


okay fine. i'm fat.
that's all there is no arguing it.
fat and old and unattractive and evil and
just nothing good.
everything about me is just atrocious.


i mean just LOOK at my poofy shirted belly! i should simply be ashamed to show my face after taking this picture and showing on the internet. what is WRONG with me?


honestly i did feel pregnant in this outfit but was told i looked very good.
*shrug*

you're the best around

whatever.
keep it up.
what goes around comes around.
etc.
i'm over it.
you should be too.
don't waste your life.
ughs.

i've been watching charlottes web nonstop.
both versions.
ah the nostalgia.

from start to finish(ish)

i want to add another coat of gold for the background, maybe some numbers in the little circles and i guess that's all.